thatssamlaw

Give Back–Buy Black

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 00:13:20 GMT

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There has been a great urgency this year. An urgency to slow the spread of the Coronavirus. An urgency for country and worldwide vaccines for the virus. There is a virus that a vaccine cannot prevent though. That virus is racism and the deterioration of the black community. So, we must create our own vaccine. Our own method of putting the threat that black-owned businesses are experiencing from the west coast through the east coast.

The Impact of Shopping Black

Businesses everywhere are feeling the impacts of this year's pandemic. Many businesses have had to close, leaving their employees without jobs. Black-owned businesses specifically have experienced the brunt of it all. The impact that shopping black has on the local community is huge providing many individuals with necessary resources. Many have been posting links on social media to local black-owned businesses that need the love and support of the community.

Don’t just shop black this holiday season, shop black moving for all your local purchases. Supporting and buying from black-owned businesses help the community as a whole. Especially in communities where the residents are culturally similar. Each dollar that is spent locally helps the community over and over again. This is because the money that is spent at a local black-owned business is circulated throughout the community multiple times before that money leaves.

When you shop black, you create a chain reaction. A chain reaction of prosperity within a community that is gravely struggling. You see, we may be amidst the worst Pandemic of our lifetime, but our ancestors have been facing a pandemic for centuries–which is the disease of systemic racism and the inequality of black people. So, how do we put an end to this disease?

How You Can Help

Black operated and owned businesses were already at a disadvantage compared to other businesses. This is why there is a grave urgency to support these struggling businesses and companies. Show your support. Show that you are here to end the inequality and racial injustices that continue to spread.

Don’t just shop black this holiday season. The black community benefits from shopping black all year ‘round, not just during the holidays. Here is what you can do to make every dollar you spend stretch beyond its traditional worth:

Before you shop somewhere, look at your options. Is there a local black-owned business that you can shop at?
Check your online options. There are many black-owned and operated businesses that run online and these businesses can still benefit greatly from your purchases.
Share your purchases on social media! A share, a like, and a follow go a long way in the black community. This is how we get heard, how we get noticed, and how we share our stories. In this article we featured Skynn Paint Cosmetics (https://www.facebook.com/skynnpaintcosmetics/)

Let us not have a repeat of the Great Recession when black families, specifically women, faced unrecoverable economic hardships. Shopping locally and shopping black is crucial if we want our black businesses and communities to survive the pandemic. Don’t just spend your money, spend it with a purpose. We need to invest in the black communities of America. We need to put an end to the economic disparities between that of black-owned businesses and establishments that are a majority white. Be the resource that the black community needs during these uncertain and tragic time!

We Were Born for This—Finding Your Talent and Beating Stagnation

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 00:55:10 GMT

W We Were Born for This—Finding Your Talent and Beating Stagnation

“To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.” —Matthew 25:9

Millennials and people of color, I’d like to start by asking you a question: are you living up to your full potential? Now, I understand we all have bad days, and we all have our highs and our lows. We have some days where we make so much progress we feel on top of the world. Other days we feel as if the world is beating us down and it won’t give us a break. That is life, my friend. What I am talking about is the gifts that God has given you.

Goals on Goals

Do you wake up every day with a goal? A purpose?

Every day do you move closer to your dreams?

Are you working hard, putting money aside, investing money, using your talents and skills for good?

Because if you aren’t, the time to start was yesterday. Listen, we only have one life, one chance to get this thing right. As people of color, and as Millennials who are often seen as young and up in the clouds, we have to prove to the world that we are going to utilize what God and our mamas gave us! We weren’t put on this world to be average, or to remain stagnant, standing in one place with no sign of progression. No. We were put here to use our God-given gifts and talents. To take back everything our ancestors lost. To carry on a legacy that our parents and grandparents would be proud of.

Stagnation, we do not know that word. We are the generation that is filled with the motivation and determination to take the world by storm. Look out world, you can’t hold us down no more.

The Story of the Kingdom of Heaven

In the Bible, Matthew 25: 14-30 tells the story of a master and his servants. This story references the Kingdom of Heaven. A master gives each of his three servants a bag of silver to watch while he is away.

Servant 1 received 5 bags, Servant 2 received 2 bags, and servant 3 received 1 bag. The master divided these bags amongst the servants according to their talents and potential. The first two servants invested their silver and worked hard, and as a result, they doubled their silver. When their master returned, he was proud. The master said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities.”

The third servant, however, buried the silver in the ground for fear of losing it. Neither working hard or investing it to increase his silver. To him, the master said, “You wicked and lazy servant!” He then gave the servants silver to the first servant.

You see, it doesn’t matter what you start with, where you start, what matters is your destination. Many people of color have to work their ass off just to get to the same position as another. The important thing is that they got there in the end. We are all given different challenges, and different blessings, it is what we do with them that makes all the difference.

Spark a Fire Within You

Whatever your gift is, or your talent is, or whatever you have, multiply it by the dozens. I say these things because I believe in our generation. I believe in my fellow people of color. I believe that we have the power and strength to do it all. What I don’t believe in is standing by, not spreading the gifts that we hold.

These gifts don’t have to be silver like in the bible story above. Maybe you have been holding onto a business idea for too long, you keep putting it off, or convincing yourself that “now is not the time.” Perhaps you are stuck in a 9-5 job that you hate and don’t feel as if you are making a difference in the world. Change that. Do what you love, and do everything you can to run from stagnation or mediocrity. Not everyone has the brains and talent to be a neurosurgeon. But we all have something. There is something great that we are all capable of doing. Find that something great, and never stop multiplying it.

We must continue to work towards leaving a legacy of change. I ask you again, are you living your life to the fullest? Or are you stagnant? Are you utilizing your natural-born talents? Or are you succumbing to mediocrity? It is not too late to turn things around. We have the power and #MillennialMagic to be anything and everything,

Take a page from someone else’s book if you have to. There are tons of talented Millennial creatives of color out there. A whole community of people of color and entrepreneurs who are thriving with the creative talents they have been given, Don’t let your talents go to waste. Do some soul searching, and show this world that you are a Boss at what you do.

Leaving a Legacy of Change: The 5 Calculated Actions We Must Take

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 18:22:02 GMT

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Now that election season is over, It’s no secret: black people in America have had to settle with less-than-justice in all facets of life: in education, in housing, in the workplace and in our communities.

We have been conditioned to believe our hair and our bodies are objects for exploitation or to be ogled and resented, rarely revered. Having to un-teach ourselves the miseducation we’ve been indoctrinated with is no small task. What’s more: we the younger generations are turning the sword on our elders, disregarding the lessons to be taught from the past...and those that lived to tell it.

Over the past few months, we have heard the voices of America speak volumes to dispel the racism, human suffering and institutionalized discriminatory practices perpetuated by our police organizations and criminal justice system. Once-silenced voices are now screaming, crying, threatening and declaring.

But what happens when the momentum is gone? How do we continue the work of deconstructing a racist, bigoted and misogynistic America when the hype is over? Right now, fighting racism is a fad and will always be one until passion becomes calculated action. Without that, this energy will fade and the last few weeks will be written off as “that one time when America gave a damn”. In today’s post, I present my ideas for;

Creating a legacy of change: the 5 calculated actions we must take:

1.Buy stock in companies with discriminatory practices.

The widening wealth gap is made worse by low African-American participation in the stock market. This is despite Black people being hyper-entrepreneurial and driven. As of 2017, only about 67% of African-Americans earning at least $50K annually invest in stocks or mutual funds. When we buy up these companies with racist practices and CEOs that showcase their bigotry for publicity stunts, they will be forced to change their tune. Millennials are even more poised to use the power of the market to extend the leverage of their voices. With apps like Robin Hood or the Cash App, the barriers to entry in the market have been largely ripped down. It’s up to us to walk through the doors. #MillennialMagic

2.Stack the school boards, PTAs, local government structures and civic leagues with your melanated bodies.

Presence is powerful. Know your laws, rights and policy processes. For too long we haven’t been allowed to participate in the policy processes that oppress us. Get involved in government on the local level and fight for the policies and regulations that will impact you and your family everyday. Not voting? Not an option. Apathy is unacceptable.

3.Support fellow black and minority-owned businesses.

S mall business drives America and shapes our economy. Buying black and buying local ensures your financial support keeps minority-owned and disadvantaged enterprises thriving. When you realize how you spend your money is just as powerful as how much you have, you will shift your personal consumer habits to live the change you seek as you spend it.

4.Quit it with the “othering”.

Let’s get one thing straight: our LGBTQ+ family and friends are not less-than-deserving of the right to exist and thrive than us. When one of us suffers, our entire fight for equality suffers. We cannot dismiss the struggles of our trans men and women. Straight self-righteousness is no better than the racism that keeps people of color oppressed. It is NO different; the same flawed inferiority complex and position of privilege is just transferred. Homophobia and transphobia hurt us all.

5. Take care of your mental health.

Minority Mental Health is critical. Everyday, we see on the news just how pervasive the agenda to destroy black lives is in America. This is traumatizing; day in, day out, the narrative puts violence against black and brown bodies on display; even for the best-intentioned media sources. On the other hand, many of us still adhere to codes of silence and archaic beliefs around mental illness and appearing weak. Please, get professional help. Having a professional degree in this field, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of taking care of your mental health. It is okay to be struggling; it is not okay to suffer in silence. We need you.

So my fellow People of melanated magic, women, millennials, or more simply, my fellow humans, let’s get this work. We must take calculated action and use these very established channels to gain traction. We want justice? We must fight for it, but we cannot turn a blind eye to using the very systems in place to actualize change. Tell me...how will you take calculated actions to create lasting change?

Get Out There and Vote — The Impact Millennials Have on the 2020 Elections

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 17:41:14 GMT

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“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. —James Baldwin”

"Shook One: Anxiety Playing Tricks on Me"― Charlamagne Tha God,

You have the power to change the world. Yet, how many times have you thought to yourself any of the following:

“My opinion doesn’t matter.”

“I am not powerful enough”

“I can’t make a difference”

“No one will listen to me”

These are just voices. You are more powerful than you give yourself credit for.

The Story of David and Goliath – the Champion Warrior vs. the Underdog

The world works in mysterious ways. Nothing is ever set in stone, and sometimes, the impossible becomes possible.

In case you haven’t heard the story of David and Goliath, or if you need a reminder…

The original story is from the Bible and can be found in 1 Samuel 17. The story goes that Goliath was a champion of the Philistines, who were enemies of the Israelites and of God. Goliath was huge, after all, he was a giant. Everyone feared him, and anyone who tried to battle him would be defeated. Imagine a 9-foot giant, wearing bronze armor that alone weighed 125 pounds. Goliath was unstoppable. Or was he?

Then you have David, who was a mere child. David heard of the awful things Goliath was saying about God and decided to go up against him. God had not failed him before and had saved him many times from animal attacks. David would not let Goliath continue to mock God and his fellow Israelites.

Goliath was so certain that David was no match for him, but David ran at him with a slingshot and launched a stone at Goliath’s head. With that one shot, he took out Goliath and brought honor to the Israelite people and to God.

The moral of the story is that sometimes the underdog, or what appears to be the weakest link, has the power to win it all.

Be the Change, Be the Voice

When it comes to the elections, this can also hold true. Sometimes the underdog comes out of nowhere in full beast mode and wins the election. No one should feel discouraged from voting. If you think your candidate won’t win because they are the underdog, don’t let that stop you from voting. If every single person who thinks their vote doesn’t matter, skips voting altogether, then of course the underdog or candidate of your choice has no chance. BUT if everyone who can vote, does vote, then anything can happen. There is power in numbers!

Your vote might inspire someone close to you to vote, and they could inspire someone else and so forth. You are one piece of the equation. Your vote and opinion matter. Especially Millennials.

Millennials have a special place in this year’s vote. Why? Well first off we have that #MillennialMagic and we can’t just let it sit there and wither away. Between 2014 - 2018, Millennial votes doubled from 22% of all votes to 42%. Let’s double that number again! We have so much to say, don’t hold your tongue and not vote. There are no excuses.

If you don’t feel educated enough to vote, educate yourself. There is too much going on in the world for us to sit back and kick our legs up. If you aren’t sure who to vote for, go to https://www.ballotready.org/ for all your local, state, and federal candidates. There are so many resources available that there is no reason to not get out there and vote!

The World is Ours

As Millennials, we have been through it all, we have seen what feels like the worst, the end of the world. The country needs our vote. The way the world is going right now, something needs to be done. Future generations are counting on you here and now. Don’t underestimate yourself, and don’t take your vote for granted.

If you don’t speak up, then you have no right to complain about the state of the world. Change can only happen when everyone bands together. With your vote, underdogs have a chance, poetic justice will be served, and the Goliath’s will be no more. Let’s spread that #MillennialMagic and show the elections who’s boss!

Fill up Your Own Cup—Keep Your #MillennialMagic

Wed, 23 Sep 2020 03:54:41 GMT

“ When you stop complaining about where you are physically and start focusing on where you are mentally, that’s when you will start to transcend your circumstances.” —Charlamagne Tha God

Many of you have probably heard the saying, “You cannot love others until you learn to love yourself.” Why do so many of us stray from this concept? It is human nature to want to be loved by someone. So much so that they choose someone to fill their voids and give them happiness. The problem with this is those individuals are putting all their eggs in one basket. That is, they give one person the key to their happiness. You cannot solely rely on a single person to make you happy, nor can you rely on material things or money to keep you happy. Instead, create pockets of happiness everywhere in your life.

“We need to make wise decisions. This is for men and women. This is a message. Your peace, happiness, wellness, and wholeness are more valuable than diamonds and pearls.”

I say, enough. Enough with blind love. Enough with giving our entire heart and soul to other people. Your heart and soul is meant for you. It isn’t a gift for anyone else.

Happiness Is Within You, It Always Has Been, It Always Will Be

Relationships can be great when they are truly with the right person. This message is for you. This is for the Millennials out there. The Millennials who are stuck. You don’t have to be stuck. No one has to stay in any place or situation that they don’t want to be in.

If those around you are weighing you down, then you need to reassess their position in your life. If you feel like all your eggs are in one basket, and you are constantly setting yourself up for disappointment, then spread out your eggs. Hell, take back your eggs— take back your power!

You owe it to yourself to be happy. Don’t keep standing in one spot; don’t keep sinking further and further into a life that isn’t bringing you the stars and the moon.

Who has that friend who is always seeking relationship advice, but never takes the advice given to them? How many times have you sought advice or vented to a friend, but failed to take action?

This is your life. Don’t let it pass you by. Making mistakes is a part of the learning process, but don’t keep making them. Learn, adapt, change and be wise in your every move.

Be Purposeful, Listen to That Inner Voice and Seek Help

I leave you with this: Know your worth. Refrain from being blinded by gifts, pretty words and empty promises. Only you can know the true feelings that lie within your heart. Listen to what your heart tells you. It is ok to put yourself first sometimes. It is ok to fill your own cup before you try to fill someone else’s.

It is ok to say no, to be unsure, and, most importantly, seek help. If you have trusted parents or grandparents in your life, there is no one better to walk you through your relationship uncertainties. You might think, “They wouldn’t understand a modern-day relationship.” I promise you, they will understand more than anyone. The generational divide between you and your elders doesn’t have to stop you from seeking out their advice. They have already been through it all. They have already made the mistakes and cried the tears. All you have to do is sit back, listen and learn.

You are worth more than the things of this world, you have the power, and you have #MillennialMagic flowing through your veins—use it to your full advantage. Fill up your own cup, and when you reach the point where you are overflowing with peace and happiness, then you can extend your cup to fill up those around you. Until then, be uniquely you, listen to your soul, and wisely choose who you keep close by.

Together We Stand: Honest, Open, and Changing the World

Wed, 09 Sep 2020 14:01:16 GMT

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“Opening up was the turning point. Instead of dissing me, they began to root for me. They wanted to walk my journey with me.” —Charlamagne Tha God

What if we started opening up. Telling our stories for everything they are worth. I bet when we start sharing these stories, opening up, being honest, and vulnerable—only then, we will find the similarities between one another.

No More Gaps

No judging. No, “I know exactly how you feel” or “you should have done it this way”. Just plain and simple listening to one another, understanding, acknowledging, and learning. I bet when we make time to have moments like this with our ancestors, our older generations, that then we can begin to bridge the generational gap that has sprouted through years of technological change.

There is no doubt that there is a gap that needs bridging. Actually, there are many gaps that need bridging. The one I want to focus on here is the generational differences, and in turn, we can begin to learn and bridge other gaps as well.

We are different than our parents.

Our parents are different than their parents.

There is an endless cycle of differences.

This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Once we accept and realize our differences we can use them to bridge the gaps that our society is facing—generational discrimination. We are the generation of change. Our generation has The Unique Ability for Millennials to Disrupt Institutional Racism. This is our #MillenialMagic. This is the very power that we hold between our lips, in the words that are yet to be said, but dying to come out.

First, though, we must understand and connect with the generations before us. They did it. They did things we will never have to deal with, just like they will never have to deal with the things that we have gone through.

Using Understanding and Communication to learn

We need to open our minds. We can’t learn when we just think of those that are older than us as outdated and not with the times. Did you ever stop to think that maybe that they are just scared? Scared because everything is digital and everything has changed so drastically in just 20 years. That can be a lot for people to handle.

If they could see the good that technology can do though. The good that it has done. It connects people. It supports people and allows for more opportunities. It allows us to search for jobs, to read blogs from all over the world, to find advice, to find answers, and learn.

I get it though. Change is scary. When done right though, change can be wonderful.

You see, those generations before us are trying to hold on, while us Millenials are trying to progress. We spend our days immersed in our technology, and the older generations fear we are living behind our devices and not in the real world.

When we take the time to understand, then we open up a door, a door for them to understand. Take their hand and say “let me show you”, be patient and kind, and ask for the same in return. We need our ancestor’s knowledge. They have been through it. They have been through war, racism, and sexism. We can learn from them, but we have to ask, and listen.

To them, we are buried in our phones, we are selfish, distant, and we only care about ourselves. What if though we open ourselves up as Charlamagne Tha God suggests. What if we say “hey, I need your help on my journey, will you share the story of your journey with me.”

It all starts with communication and dialogue. Once we have this door open, we can shut all the other doors that lead to generational discrimination. We can bridge the gap, and transfer that knowledge to keep bridging gaps. We can take this knowledge and apply it to the Black Lives Matter movement, we can learn how to stand up and stand out for our people, and how we can support one another in every way, shape and form that we can.

No one can do it all on their own. Each and every one of us needs a support system. We all need people to lift us up when we feel down, for people to believe in the work that we are doing when we feel discouraged, and for those same people to mention our names in a room full of opportunities.

Reflect—Do You Take the Time to Support Those Around You?

Do you hype up your best friend who is an aspiring photographer? When you hear someone needs a wedding photographer do you proudly say “I know a person!” Or do you keep quiet and say nothing at all?

Your friend that bakes sweets as a side business, do you ask her to “hook it up with some free pastries”? Or do you place an order on her website and pay FULL price because you believe in supporting your friend’s business?

Asking for free goods from your friends is not supporting their business. Paying full price does. Reposting their content on social media does. Bringing their name up in a conversation when an opportunity is knocking does.

This one is for the millennials like myself, who have the privilege of technology at the tips of their fingers. Repost your friends. Repost strangers! You don’t have to know someone to support them. This is the beauty of the world that we live in.

I think we become afraid that if we take a moment to support someone other than ourselves then in the process we will make ourselves less sparkly to the rest of the world.

In my most recent blog, Don’t Forget About Us- Take Advantage of Life’s ‘I Know a Girl’ Moments, I cover this phenomenon. Why? Because it is important, it is vital, and because good karma is a real thing.

I promise you that promoting and supporting those around you will not hurt your own endeavors. Do you think the greatest artists in the music industry just walked into the studio and popped out a hit and started rising on the charts? No. They worked hard, broke their backs, didn’t sleep, and then got that chance of a lifetime because someone believed in them and mentioned their name.

How Did Our Ancestors Do It?

The Black Lives Matter movement has surfaced tons of support for black businesses and community members. This is a small but necessary step towards victory.

Nothing can make you shine less, except for yourself. Black folks and those of color need more of those “I know a girl/guy moments”. We have suffered too long, we have all suffered. This year especially has thrown us down, picked us up, and then threw us even farther.

This year has brought us...

A pandemic that has killed 190K, which has brought on millions of Americans losing their jobs...

Deaths of black folks like Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, and arrests of other innocent black people who are rightfully angry and tired of the oppression that our people have faced for years…

I mean how did our ancestors do it? I think about the things that our parents and grandparents went through and I am speechless. I see the world hurting and suffering, and I want answers. Answers for recovery and answers on how to stay hopeful. So I begin to look to our ancestors, to how those before us stood up during the civil rights movement, the feminist movement, and the LGBTQ movement. How did they do it? How do we do it? Why are we still doing it? Why on earth do we still have to keep fighting for equality?

I think about it, and I pause, and I feel like we have already done all this before. We have already fought these movements, we have already been beaten down and bruised by our oppressors, yet we still have to fight. We still have to protest, but our ancestors had it worse, they had the brunt of it all.

At least I can walk into a diner and have service.

At least I can use the same restroom as the white woman in the stall next to me.

At least I can go to school and learn in the same class as white folks.

At least I can get on a bus without fearing arrest for refusing to give up my seat to a white man.

On the other spectrum, black folks are still dying. There are too many black mothers crying and there are too many brothers and sisters dying. Racism is still real. People still look at the color of my skin and see someone ‘different’. Cops still kill black people substantially more than white people. The black community only accounts for 13% of the population, yet they account for 25% of police shootings.

You Can’t Steal Our Joy

So I look to our ancestors because this isn’t the first Pandemic. This isn’t the first time people of color are dying. This isn’t the first time that poverty is striking the nation.

Many of our grandparents or great grandparents were born during and lived through the Spanish Influenza, which wiped out as many as 50 million people worldwide. Our female ancestors were bound to the house to take care of the children, as this was a woman’s duty back then. Forget an education, a career, and a life—the home was the woman’s responsibility. The 60s brought about peaceful protests via sit-ins. When I think about the patience and the virtue my ancestors must have had to sit down at a table and face the wrath of white people screaming and yelling slurs in their faces, it hurts me. Not to mention, it was only five short years ago when gay marriage became legal.

The world has continuously pushed us down, but we must continue to use our #MillenialMagic to push back, to stand up, and to stand strong.

We can continue to make strides. We can’t win this race alone. We must learn from those who have already done it all so that we can continue the fight.

Sexism, racism, and homophobia raided our ancestor’s joy, but it won’t continue to raid ours.

So I leave you with this...what can you gain by being open and honest? Who can you connect with? What story will you share, and in return what story will be shared with you? Take this honesty and these stories and spread them like wildfire. Use them to fuel a better world, a world where we stand next to and not apart from our ancestors, and a world where we give those around us the opportunity we would ask them to give to us. Together we stand.

The one that I want to focus on here is the generational gaps, and in turn, we can begin to learn and bridge other gaps as well. 

Real-life event: The True Experience

bookings@thatssamlaw.com (Sam Law) — Thu, 03 Sep 2020 04:18:57 GMT

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A real-life event brings human connection and interaction. You get to meet different people, share dreams and ideas. You feel you’re part of a community and inspired. Also, you get to explore new things and feel people’s energy around you. This experience often lasts for a lifetime and the memories motivate you as you go on in life. As many countries around the world are trying to curb the spread of the coronavirus by giving new policies such as encouraging their citizen to practice social distancing, avoid crowds, and many more. The event industry is suffering greatly. Almost all in house events all over the world have been postponed indefinitely. and no one is certain if the real-life events will ever return to its full capacity. Many event planners have lost their job and now finding an alternative way or business to survive in this pandemic.

The good news is that people are still hosting events, this validates the importance of the event industry. It shows coming together is inevitable in the human race. As humans, we need to come together to learn, interact, engage, influence, and do business. It also creates a holistic experience that is very exciting and unforgettable. You can’t feel the same way on zoom meeting or google classroom. No doubt, we all appreciate the high-quality videos on conference calls and the compelling speakers. But the real question is, do you get the same experience when compared to a life event? Read on as Sam Law, a Ted x speaker event organizer, marketing professional, and published model who is also the founder and president of Hip Professional Inc take us through why you should choose a real-life event.

You feel people’s presence

Presence is the act of feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally engaged in an event. It makes you take part in the program rather than being a viewer. You are aware of your environment and know what is going on. You have the opportunity to interact with other attendees and share your experience, energy, ask questions, and enjoy the moment. The presence of people around you motivates you and also remove all distractions. We can’t say the same about virtual events. People sit in the comfort of their house and can be distracted by anything around them. Some people don’t get to enjoy the meeting because of things like network failure, no human connection, and many more.

You know you’re part of a community

Feeling and knowing you are part of a community is an important part of an event experience. Community events are organized for people who have the same mindset, focus, and dream which can be achieved via a virtual event. However, you can not feel it. At real-life events, you feel welcomed and part of the community when you look at other attendees. You can even walk up to them, introduce yourself while they do the same, share experience, or run into your colleague or old friend, relate with others, and many more. You feel it, experience it, enjoy and learn from it. This often gives people an emotional buzz.

You experience event autonomy

Event autonomy is the ability to choose how and what your event experience should look like as an attendee. The kind of event you attend, the area, who you meet, the performance you watch, and so on. Unlike virtual events where you are forced to stick your face on the screen and watch video streams of speaker after speaker. Isn’t that tiring? Some people are often frustrated and sign out. Everyone wants to be in control of their environment and that is what a real-life event gives you.

Don’t Forget About Us- Take Advantage of Life’s ‘I Know a Girl’ Moments

Sun, 09 Aug 2020 16:52:52 GMT

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“It’s necessary to have friends who mention your name in a room full of opportunities.” -Charlamagne Tha God

Imagine being a fly on the wall in a banquet room. Seated on the left is a CEO you’ve been dying to meet...the leader of a company that could skyrocket your business into the next tax bracket. On the right is the brand ambassador for a fashion design company you’d really love to collaborate with on a merchandising campaign. Seated between the two is your childhood best friend. The small talk topics range from the weather to current events, yet at no point during the luncheon does your friend bring up your name or your business. As the plates are cleared and the platters taken away, so too fades the chance for your big break. Though the focus lately has been on how other groups have neglected to give black lives their due, today I am shifting the conversation. In this blog post, I turn the lens inward: we in the black community have failed to show the very support we demand of others to ourselves. Don’t forget about us.

Silence in the face of opportunity is a crippling blow. When due credit isn’t given, opportunities are missed out on, just like in the story of Joseph, the baker, and the cupbearer in the Bible.

Joseph, the Baker and the Cupbearer- A Case Study in Crippling Silence

In this story, Joseph is wrongfully imprisoned after being kidnapped from his homeland. At this time, Pharaohs were the ruling entity and as such could arbitrarily incarcerate citizens deemed to be a threat to their monarchical privilege. Pharaoh spared no one, arresting anyone and everyone who got in his way...including his chief baker and cupbearer.

Here, we find Joseph, the baker and the cupbearer in the same state of imprisonment. During this time, the baker and the cupbearer begin having vivid dreams. Joseph uses his talents of divine intuition to interpret them. He foresees the cupbearer being released and the baker being executed. Joseph explicitly asks the cupbearer—”please remember me and do me a favor when things go well for you. Mention me to Pharaoh, so he might let me out of this place” (Genesis 40:14).

I would love to say that the cupbearer remembered how Joseph's talents leveraged his own success, so he returned the favor when given the chance. Sadly, that didn't happen. The cupbearer was released at the request of Pharaoh, just like Joseph had predicted, and the cupbearer “forgot all about Joseph, never giving him another thought” (Genesis 40:23). The cupbearer, self-absorbed in his own freedom, has now forgotten how Joseph used his talents to leverage his success. He had ONE job.

The “I Know A Guy/ Girl” Moment

Now, we all know *that* person who always ‘knows a girl’.

Need the hookup on makeup before a big photoshoot? “I know a girl.”

Need a private bartender for a party? “I know a guy.”

The only thing more powerful than being the referral...is being the person who offers it. What that means, is realizing that mentioning your friends in the space of opportunity makes you MORE powerful; it doesn’t detract from it. You elevate yourself while you elevate others in the process.

So how could the cupbearer have flipped the script and done things differently?

All the cupbearer had to do was go to Pharaoh and say “Master, you know what? I know a guy...Joseph. While imprisoned, his talents as a powerfully intuitive dream interpreter helped me get out of this situation. You should talk to him about how he can benefit your administration.”

Don’t Forget About Us- Take Advantage of Life’s ‘I Know a Girl’ Moments

I don’t know who needs to hear this but supporting your friend’s successes does NOT mean you will have less success in your own life and your own hustle. People of color especially need support and encouragement; yes, we know. But what we need just as much, is the support within our community when the chance arises.

To my fellow millennials...you have that same intuitive divine talent. Whereas Joseph interpreted dreams, you have the power to use your #MillennialMagic-- leverage your connections as influencers to BE influential. Mention your friends in comments on relevant content. Tag your friends in posts with powerful people if given an opportunity.

In a room of opportunities, how can you leverage your power by mentioning the friends who helped you get there?

Mental Health and the Black American Experience

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 19:08:27 GMT

"Sn ap out of it.”

“You just need to pray about it.”

“WE don’t get depression.”

“You have too much to be thankful for to be sad.”

If you are a black person living in America, there is a good chance you’ve heard some variation of these statements. Maybe from your mother when you couldn’t seem to pull yourself out of the bed in the mornings. Maybe from your father who was tired of you “moping around the house” all the time.

Maybe from a grandparent who reminded you of how you never had to endure the Civil Rights movement, Jim Crow laws or the FBI targeting black leaders who dared give a damn.

No matter what your experience has been, if you are black in America you know what I’m talking about. You’ve experienced it or seen it with your friends or family.

Of the 13.4% of the U.S. population self-identifying as black or African American, more than 16% report having a mental illness. This is more than the entire populations of Chicago, Houston and Philadelphia combined. Though mental health conditions occur in similar or less incidences as with white Americans, traumas significant to the black experience in America contribute to less favorable results. It is important to note: mental health conditions, though they do not discriminate against race, color, gender, sexual identity or creed, can result in dramatically different outcomes for some lives more than others.

To be frank: black lives.

Being black in America means having, statistically-speaking, a diminished access to treatment and cultural attitudes toward mental health.

Mental Health and the Black American Experience- What Sets Us Apart

If mental illness doesn’t discriminate, then why do we black people have such worst outcomes?

Seeking answers to this question led me to pursue my own academic studies into psychology and (unofficially), sociological studies.

Cultural Stigmas

Though we millennials have seen promising turns in this tide, there is still a broad-sweeping stigma concerning mental health within the black community. Denial that we can get mental illness in the first place, coupled with familial pressure to keep such matters ‘within the family’ make initiating mental healthcare difficult. Admitting that you are suffering psychologically comes with its own difficulties. While many do find coping strategies in outlets like religious teachings and worship communities, these environments can further pressure suffering individuals into silence. Furthermore, when we do seek professional help, having a therapist that doesn't understand our experience of dealing with discrimination, cultural appropriation, othering and body shaming makes openness and honesty (even behind closed doors and confidentiality agreements) even more challenging.

Barriers to Entry: Accessing Healthcare Resources

African Americans are predisposed to inequities in the healthcare system without considering mental health. We are 40% more likely to die from breast cancer, 52% more likely to die from cervical cancer, 23% more likely to be obese and three times more likely to die from pregnancy-related complications. Regarding depression alone, our black youth are more likely to attempt suicide as teenagers than their white peers.

What bothers me more than these statistics, are the barriers to entry which block us from receiving adequate care. Yes, the Affordable Care Act helped improve access to care...but astronomically high deductibles stop us at the gates. (A fact that conveniently remains largely undiscussed to this day.) Even with the ACA, 11.5% of black and African American-identifying individuals remained uninsured as of 2018.

Mental Health and the Black American Experience- Minority Mental Health Awareness Month

In 2008, national Minority Mental Health Awareness Month was established for July to help redirect these trends for ourselves and our minority peers from other ethnic, racial and cultural backgrounds. Organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness provide valuable information about how you can get involved and share the message of hope and education around this topic.

For my Millennials…

Now, all of this means nothing if we don’t exercise our #MillennialMagic as a force for influence within our communities How many more young minorities have to die as a consequence of mental illness before we take this seriously?

Tamar Braxton’s reported suicide attempt is only a public face to a deeper systemic problem. It shouldn’t take one of our own as a media marauder for us to wake up to this issue: if systemic racism doesn’t kill us, mental illness will.

Start conversations. So have that uncomfortable conversation when your mom tells you you’re “too blessed to be stressed” and open an honest dialogue with your grandparents about how we still deal with the blowbacks of existing while black in America. Just because we’re allowed to use porcelain toilets doesn’t mean everything is rose petals and daisies. Fighting against a white privileged hetoronormative society is traumatic for black, brown and LGBTQ+ bodies...that hasn’t changed.

Get Connected. Know your resources. Here in Long Island, the Long Island Clinicians of Color stand ready to help you cope with whatever you may be going through. Here is there information:

Sheri-Ann Best, LCSW-R, Farmingdale, NY IG: @Changethroughwords

Lisa Zakiya Newland, PhD, LCSW-R, Rockville Centre, NY IG:@educate2elevatecs

Lilian Taku, LCSW Huntington, NY

Cherie Dortch, LCSW-R, Rockville Centre, NY IG:@onemind_wellness_psychotherapy

Katiuscia Gray, LCSW-R, Valley Steam, NY

Samara Toussaint, Psy D, Valley Stream, NY IG:@Growthwithdrtoussaint

Angeleta Boyce, MA, LMHC, NCC, Valley Stream, NY IG:@ray_of_light_ny

Phoenixx Love, LCSW, Uniondale, NY IG:@iamphoenixxlove

Sheniqua Lee, MHC-LP, Farmingdale, NY IG: @Sheniqualee_mhc

Hermanuella Hyppolite, Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, Valley Stream, NY IG:@iberementalhealth

Kay De Simone, LCSW, Garden City, NY IG:@kay_puravidawellness/

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, Valley Stream, NY IG: @Therapyisdope

Victor Brown, LMSW, Farmingdale, NY

Wooselyne Jean, LCSW-R, Servicing Suffolk and Nassau County, 631-704-6397

Candice Bonham-Jarvis, LCSW-R, Massapequa, NY FB:@Chat and Change Counseling Services

Ieshah Mapp, MA, LMFT, East Meadow, NY IG:@Ieshahmapplmft

Dare to Give A Damn...Millennials, let’s use our #MillennialMagic to stop the inter-cultural oppression of mental illness in minority communities. You are not alone. Reach out, get help and educate yourself. How will YOU be a champion for minority mental health?

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Millennial Magic:The Unique Ability for Millennials to Disrupt Institutional Racism

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 15:53:07 GMT

Millennial Magic:

The Unique Ability for Millennials to Disrupt Institutional Racism

"Geographical location doesn’t determine what kind of success you will have, but your psychological position always will.”- Charlemagne tha God

Let’s be real: we millennials have been through some (stuff). Our resilience is our superpower. We survived 9/11, two major wars, a huge recession, the coronavirus pandemic and countless killings of unarmed African-Americans by white police officers. Because of our resilience, we have millennial magic- the unique ability for millennials to disrupt institutional racism.

What is millennial magic?

Millennial magic - the unique ability for millennials to disrupt institutional racism- is conjured by how we navigate the intersections of life. It’s that simple. Hocus pocus aside, how we’ve managed to come out of all of it with our teeth in tact is nothing short of magical. A millennial mystique, really.

Stuck between binaries, but still thriving

Millennial Magic means living life in a wedge. Millennials are stuck between binaries:

Stuck between blue-on-black police slaughter and the porcelain-white privileged Permit Patties that report us.

Stuck between King’s “I Have a Dream” and the nightmare of our current reality: crippling student loan debt, affordable housing struggles, and a pandemic trying to wipe us out.

Our binaries are the tie that bind us to the hope of a better and brighter tomorrow. What didn’t kill us has made us strategically positioned to dismantle institutional racism. Here’s how.

Education - Learn the Lessons of the Older Generations.

We are the influencers, the Dreamers and the fed-up-with-the-bullsh* leaders that can take the lessons of the older generations--the flappers, the flower power, the Panthers and the Peacemongers--and use them to dismantle the very institutional racism that oppresses us.

Action- Turn Fear into Fuel for the Fight.

As a black woman in America, the color of my skin may dictate whether I live to see another day. I emphasized this point as President of Yung Hip Professionals, Inc. at the WDN LI Press Conference to Support Black Lives. That is heavy. Institutional racism is built into the architecture of America. Trying to fix a broken system can’t be done with the bricks that built it. We have a lot to be upset about. We are tired, we are broken and we are fragmented into a million pieces. We graduated from college and launched, debt first, into the throes of economic recession. Like I said...we’ve been through some stuff.

But you know what? It is the weight on our shoulders that flexes our fight muscles. We must let our fear fuel us to keep fighting. We must use our millennial magic- the unique ability for millennials to disrupt institutional racism.

How to Use Millennial Magic- the unique ability for millennials to disrupt institutional racism

Our grandparents taught us how to protest, fight for our rights to exist as persons of color, as queer, as women, as undocumented immigrants...they taught us how. So why are we still fighting the battles they fought? How are we different? How is NOW different?

I would argue that the fight is the same; it is the theater of battle that is different. This is our advantage. We the millennials have the opportunity to make our fight count by using the lessons learned from older generations and--not succumb to being broke and tired--but to gain energy from our fears to fight on.

Here’s why we’re different:

Our power to influence isn’t bound by geographic limitations. Charlamagne Tha God mentions that psychological position, not geographical location, determines success. Our generation has the technology to tear down political borders and physical barriers but we tragically get restricted by their limiting beliefs. When we let go of our limiting beliefs, there is no stopping us. We shut down porcelain-white Permit Patty privilege with our smartphone cams and Twitter accounts. We document the criminalization of black bodies existing in public spaces for the world to see.

We occupy the institutions that promulgate institutional racism--we are the Trojan Horse. We work, shop at, teach, learn, play and pay taxes to the very organizations that were built on the backs of oppression. Segregation kept our grandparents from them; now we get scholarships to them. We have the power to create change from the inside out.

We have the power to teach the younger generations the lessons we learned from the older generations. We carry the torch. Our ancestors, parents, grandparents and the generations before us lit the fire; we let it burn within ourselves and spread the flames to our youth. They say if you forget your history, you’re doomed to repeat it. We’re not letting injustice be forgotten.

Millennial Magic- Takeaways:

Millennials, if you remember nothing else from my words today, remember this: you have the power within yourselves to do whatever it is you need to do to educate, influence and change. Use your millennial magic to topple oppressive regimes, end the war against bodies of color, continue seeing progress for LGBTQ+ rights and for the undocumented. Use your #millennialmagic to fight institutional racism from within, and never be limited by your own limiting beliefs

Giving A TEDx Talk

Tue, 16 Jun 2020 20:16:13 GMT

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Giving A TEDx Talk

On March 7th 2020, a few moments before the US was hit with the Coronavirus Pandemic, I gave a TEDx Talk. If you are wondering what a TEDx is, it refers to an independently organized event that takes place under TED's community license, usually in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and other countries.

TED is a highly respected public speaking brand, and TEDx events are organized independently of TED events. In my case mine was given at TEDx Deer Park. You may be invited to give a TEDX talk, or you may consider applying to speak at a TEDX event. If you're not an aspiring TEDx speaker, this short presentation style is popular with event planners.

You may have already been selected for a TED or TEDx conference and want to make sure you deliver the speech of a lifetime. People ask you how you got the opportunity to give a TEDx talk, and then they ask you how you can prepare for it. You could say that you were lucky enough to be part of TEDX Deer Park, or maybe you were already a speaker at one of the TED conferences to which you were invited.

I was selected to speak on the theme Paradox. A Paradox is a statement that is absurd or contradictory on it's face but after investigation turns out to be true. The Paradox I chose is that youth is wasted on the young, a quote from George Bernard Shaw. I used that quote to build my theme, which was generational hostility . For Instance Boomers vs. Millennials.

Preparing for a TEDx Talk is no easy task. There is actually a TED way of giving a speech. To prepare a speaker for the event you are giving a course on TED Talks. You can purchase the course which I totally recommend for about $50 from TED directly.

A lot of prep work goes into a speech that is between 5-18 minutes max. For a long format speaker this is no one easy task. One of the most anxiety inducing aspects is that, your speech should be memorized! I was beyond nervous when I gave mine and no I did not have it 100% memorized. I had about 70% memorized, the rest just came from the heart. I am going to be fair to myself though. I had major surgery scheduled last minute, 5 days before my talk.

Once I gave the talk, I was super hard on myself. While my family, friends, and strangers gave me compliments. I couldn't accept that it went well. It took me weeks to listen to the final version on YouTube. Once I heard it, I was not sure what I waited for. I was proud of myself. I got my point across and call to action done in under 7 minutes! Now that I have done one. I would definitely do it again. If you have an opportunity to do a TEDx Talk will you do it?

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SHOPPING WHILE BLACK

Tue, 16 Jun 2020 18:50:32 GMT

Shopping While Black

Today I read an article that really hit a nerve. It was a Daily Mail article on how the retail company Anthropologie identifies Black shoppers. An employee outed the company on their racist practices of saying to each other a "NICK" has entered the store. Not only did they say "NICK" which assume is short for N*gga, they would also follow black shoppers around the store making them feel uncomfortable. Many black shoppers revealed they no longer shopped their due to how uncomfortable they were made to feel.

The article reminded me of my time in retail. This incident happened about 15 years ago. It left a scar and was one of many awful experiences I had as a retail worker.

Many moons ago, I was a retail worker. I worked at Express Men, in Broadway Mall (Hicksville, NY), around 2005. This was before Express and Express Men merged into a single storefront. The company hired a seasonal manager for the holiday rush. She was a forty something White woman.

I will never forget that cringey moment when, she asked me to follow a guy around the store, who came in browsing. She said he looked suspicious. I looked up from the cash wrap and realized it was my boyfriend dressed in all current season express attire, who was picking me up from work. I walked right over to him and gave him a huge hug. The look on her face was priceless.

Just know when you walk into a store and your black and your being asked if you need help 50x over. It’s a way for the store to let you know they are watching you. I just say, "I know you know I’m here and I’ve come to shop."

Also, most stores know their regulars, so I find it highly irritating when it’s done to me at a store I frequent. Since I have over 10 years over experience in retail, I know this, it is not always the salesperson or manager that wants to implement these practices. It is a part of the corporate culture of the company. They have the lower level employees and managers watch several hours of videos on loss prevention.

Many times, the actors and real-world examples in the videos presented to retail employees feature black actors or examples of people who commit the acts of theft. Employees are trained that providing exceptional customer service prevents theft and reduces shrink. It lets the "suspicious" person know they are being watched.

Since the employees are trained to view certain types of people as "suspicious" they tend to treat anyone who fits the mold poorly. Race is no indicator of potential criminality. Any person of any color can be a potential thief. I work hard for my money and want to be treated well when I enter a store to shop. Companies need to work on their people skills all the way around. How do you feel you are treated when shopping while black?

I would love to stay on Long Island — but don’t see how I can

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 19:32:00 GMT

Sam Law is marketing manager and a millennial living in Wyandanch.

I have called Long Island home since I was born in 1987. Even before our parents moved my brother and I to West Babylon from Hempstead in 1994, our family roots had been growing in that area for several generations.

Long Island is beautiful. We have gorgeous homes, nice beaches, and a close proximity to New York City, so it is difficult to imagine living anywhere else. As an African-American and mother of two, it is also difficult to conceive of a reality in which I could stay.

Nassau and Suffolk Counties rank among the two of the most expensive places to live in America. In order to afford a two-bedroom apartment at market rent, a family’s income easily needs to be around $75,000 per year.

In 2015, I moved to Wyandanch Village, a newly-built high-rise apartment complex with income-based units. Wyandanch is considered a low-income neighborhood, and I observe most residents being of African and Hispanic descent. My boyfriend and I were blessed to be picked for a coveted income-based unit. In order to maintain reduced rent, our income cannot exceed $73,000. If we hit that income threshold, we will be $2,000 short of affording market rent.

It is difficult to find gainful employment on Long Island. My boyfriend and I are hardworking degree holders. We diligently search for jobs that match our education. For millennials on Long Island, college is considered a must. A degree was supposed to yield better opportunities and higher income. Unfortunately, it only led us to substantial debt, which is a hindrance to the goal of homeownership. From what I can tell salaries on Long Island for degree holders are less than in New York City. I took two jobs in the city to make ends meet. The result has been less quality time with my children.

The school system presents another problem. The Wyandanch School District, where my children attend, performs at a level well below those in predominantly Caucasian towns. Educational disparities are an Island-wide issue due to de facto segregation and racial steering practices (which are outlawed in the 1968 Fair Housing Act) that endure. Areas with low-income residents have lower property values. Taxes are proportional and these fund the local school districts.

In order for Wyandanch to rise out of its current status, the school proposed a 42 percent property tax increase for the 2019 to 2020 school year. Many families can’t afford a tax increase of that magnitude. As a result the budget got voted down twice and the district is operating on a contingency budget. It’s a challenging time for the district.

I would love to stay on Long Island, to set down roots here. Unfortunately, the lack of affordable housing, dismal career opportunities, and growing disparities in childhood education are a preamble to shattered dreams. Unless something changes, we may have to leave our present home for a better life.

The post I would love to stay on Long Island — but don’t see how I can appeared first on nextLI .

thatssamlaw

Give Back–Buy Black

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We Were Born for This—Finding Your Talent and Beating Stagnation

W We Were Born for This—Finding Your Talent and Beating Stagnation

Leaving a Legacy of Change: The 5 Calculated Actions We Must Take

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Get Out There and Vote — The Impact Millennials Have on the 2020 Elections

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Fill up Your Own Cup—Keep Your #MillennialMagic

Together We Stand: Honest, Open, and Changing the World

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Real-life event: The True Experience

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You feel people’s presence

You know you’re part of a community

You experience event autonomy

Don’t Forget About Us- Take Advantage of Life’s ‘I Know a Girl’ Moments

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Mental Health and the Black American Experience

Millennial Magic:The Unique Ability for Millennials to Disrupt Institutional Racism

Millennial Magic: The Unique Ability for Millennials to Disrupt Institutional Racism

Giving A TEDx Talk

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Giving A TEDx Talk

SHOPPING WHILE BLACK

Shopping While Black

I would love to stay on Long Island — but don’t see how I can

Millennial Magic:

The Unique Ability for Millennials to Disrupt Institutional Racism